good friday

 

And a Good Friday it is!

Monday was the first day I became official with the company and the week has just flown by. There is so much to do here that I can hardly keep up with it. But I love it. I also love the fact that I am no longer considered a “contract employee” or a temp. That feels good. I have been a temp now for over a year! It seems hard to believe.

So in addition to all that, not to mention that it is almost the weekend, (I cant believe it is Easter already!) I had a great night’s sleep finally. I got up early this morning and walked Cody, and actually had enough time to pack a breakfast and lunch for myself! I had time to get ready, and hot iron my hair and actually feel like I was put together before I left for work today, which never happens. I’m usually rushing to even put on earrings and don’t have time to put on my jacket before I get into my car! Jeez. I need to do this every day.

RD and I decided to take a long walk every day after work with Cody. I am getting the bulge back again, and I blame myself for baking so much during the holidays! Darn it. So now the pants that had been falling off me fit perfectly, and my skinny jeans are now too tight. Bleh. That means I’m back on the no carb diet. Meat, Meat and more Meat.

Shhhh, don’t tell….Its somebody’s birthday in the office today, there is cake…and dammit, I am going to have a piece.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

what a difference a day makes

 

I can NOT believe how much I have learned in just two weeks 

Last Monday girl#2 was let go by the company.  We all sort of know it was going to happen, I mean she had already put in her notice and then the next day took a vacation to Las Vegas.  So not only was out supervisor no longer there to help us out, we were totally on our own; three of us doing the jobs of five!   

I have never had to learn so much in such a short period of time at a job.  It has been exhilarating and exciting, running on pure adrenaline trying to get everything done correctly and at the same time trying to take the time to learn how.  By the end of the day I am exhausted though.  Last week I crashed on the couch a couple of times right after work.  It has been my excuse to go to bed early, I really need my brain power now! 

The new dynamic of the office is fantastic too.  Before the firings there was a huge rift between the two groups of girls.  Now that the two of them are gone the office seems so much more happy and bright.  There is no tension lingering in the air, no cliques, no one feels held back.  Now we are finally a team, and we work together really well.   

We decided together that we didn’t want such defined boundaries around what each of us does anymore.  We have decided that we all have a hand in everything.  That way we each know what is going on at all times, and I think it should have been that way from the beginning but that is not the way the office has been run in the past. I personally feel so much more free now.  I don’t feel so held down and held back from learning new things about my job.  Before it was so regulated and compartmentalized that no one seemed to be going anywhere, no one moved up because they weren’t permitted to.  That has all changed. 

My boss has already offered me a permanent position and a raise once my contract is up with the temp agency in a week.  He made it clear to me that he loves what I have been doing, and has told me so a few times in the last couple weeks.  That felt so great. 

One thing that made me smile: last Friday the president of the company wandered down from corporate headquarters and into the doorway of the office.  He has always been a thing of legend to me because you rarely see him around.  He stood there and smiled the biggest smile at all three of us and said “you know I don’t think I’ve seen you all smile like this in a long long time…” we all sort of giggled and agreed.  “You know I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I’m so glad you girls are here and you are doing a great job” wow…What an honor, you know? 

Ahhh, that made us all feel about ten feet tall.  That’s what it’s all about.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

a fresh start

Tuesday morning I awoke to a fresh coat of snow.  It was refreshing to me; it felt like a new start.  Like my slate was wiped clean.  I get a do over. 

Walking into an empty office was a lonely experience.  I felt so guilty! I mean, why them and not me?  Temp’s like me come a dime a dozen, I could have been replaced in the blink of an eye. I am so lucky to still be here after all of that. 

I was a little leery of working with the two other girls, at first.  I quickly decided I need to move on from the whole thing.  It was amazing how fast we just took over the place.  There are just three of us left in the office so we had to learn fast. I really thrive in these sorts of situations, being thrown right into it.  It has been really chaotic but I LOVE it! I love having eighteen things to do at once and not stopping until the clock hits five. 

My contract with the staffing agency is up next month and I was so worried that my boss wouldn’t want to hire me on.  He was adamant about letting me know that I was already hired in his eyes, and already proposed a deal.  I even got a raise! Ahhhh, I love new beginnings.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

the cost of having fun with coworkers

I can’t believe I am still sitting here at my desk.  I should have been fired today. Hang on to your panties this is going to be a long one.

It all started last week…insert Wayne’s World dream sequence song here.  

I finally got a chance to go have lunch with the “popular girls” in my office on Thursday.  They are seriously just like the cool kids in school…but in grown up land, and I got invited to go to lunch with them! I was so excited.

The girls are my supervisor and her assistant, who are also BFF’s outside of work, and have been for years.  I was honored to get to hang out with them and to be accepted into their little clique.  We decided to go to a local Mexican food restaurant at around 12:40 and we left behind the two other girls we work with to handle the phones.  This was probably not the best idea.

It’s a little hard working with all women.  When I first started working here there were very defined groups.  Office politics had separated them a bit before I got there, its understandable.  It was really easy to choose which clique I fit in with…and so I had to choose.

We began by ordering a pint of margaritas…and then before we knew it, we had been gone for way longer than we should have been and had refilled our glasses a little more than we probably should have.  At the time we were all having so much fun talking and sharing opinions and laughing, I honestly wasn’t worried because I was with my boss you know?  She called the other two girls in the office to let them know we were still waiting for the bill and that we would be back soon.  She even offered them the chance to leave early for the day in return.

We may have been a little louder and gigglier than normal, add that to the two pissed off co-workers that were left behind and that spells trouble. After about 20 minutes another supervisor from another part of the building came storming in.

“You, you, and you; get your things together you are all leaving for the day without pay”

We were like “what???”…

“You took an extended lunch and you came back intoxicated…it smells like alcohol in here and you are slurring your words.”

“no we are not!”

Yikes…I never thought anything about it, I was with my boss you know?  I figured she calls the shots (no pun intended) I guess not.  She fought her ass off for us though. There was yelling and tears and lots of flailing arms. She ended up being pulled upstairs to the corporate offices and I don’t know what happened after that.  All I know is that we were practically escorted out of the building.

I was called that night and asked to show up at my normal time on Friday and that whole day the office was just buzzing around us.

Flash forward to today. 

I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined what would happen next.  I thought we would all be pulled into a meeting and be reprimanded and I would have promised never to do that again etc.  The two disgruntled girls got called in first of course.  I’m pretty sure they threw us all under the bus. In hindsight, I knew at the time that they would be mad at us.  I shouldn’t have gone to lunch.  The clarity of hindsight.  Why do I do these things to myself?  I knew better.

My supervisor was called in by herself.  She came out stoic, no expression on her face and returned to her desk.  I watched her for about five minutes looking for some glimmer of hope, but there was none.  The HR lady came to our office door and said “come on, get your things.”  I was instantly nauseated.  She got fired!

I cried and cried to RD last week about how I couldn’t lose this job, not this one.  Friday I guess I thought they had put it all in the past and we were moving on.  I guess not.  Instead my supervisor and friend was fired, and I was given a slap on the wrist.  I can’t believe she’s gone.  It should have been me.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

the big blue marble

Does anyone else out there think it’s weird that we have a shuttle landing, a lunar eclipse, and a satellite being shot out of the sky all in one day? It’s a big day for the Earth apparently.  Overscheduled a bit I think…Rotate around the sun, rotate, rotate, rotate, allow shuttle into atmosphere, get in between the sun and moon for an hour, and finally purge dead satellite from gravity. 

I don’t understand this whole satellite thing.  Why, instead of letting it burn up in the Earth’s atmosphere, why are we shooting a missile into space and blowing it into a million little pieces only to become space junk?  Add it to the bazillions of little pieces of space junk that’s already floating around out there and I will bet by the time there is another total eclipse, it wont be from the Earths shadow!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

the way i am

My new favorite song- “The way I am” by Ingrid Michaelson its also RD’s ringtone on my cell  

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I’d find a match.‘

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I’ll make it better.

‘Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I’d buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

‘Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am. 

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

white noise

Why do I feel like I am going to die when I don’t get enough sleep? 

I’m not even exaggerating either! I literally feel worse than I have ever felt when I am exhausted.  Worse than I felt when I had mono, worse than I felt when I had surgery, worse than I have felt with any sickness.  I mean it; this is what dying feels like.   

This morning I caught myself staring out the window at work, I’m not sure how long I was doing that but it almost felt like I was sleeping with my eyes open.  I feel like I’m floating, at least my head is.  I’m not even sure if it is attached to my body because I’m sort of numb from the neck down.  I feel a little buzzy on the inside.   

Is buzzy a word?  

Here’s an analogy for you: I feel like I have white noise in my veins. 

Is this normal?  I didn’t go to bed late, but I don’t think I slept all night.  Is it normal to feel like death when you are tired?  I was never like this when I was younger. I used to be able to stay out all night and then go to school and work with no problems at all.  I may just keel over today.  Can you die from not getting sleep?  Ill be honest; Id rather die than feel like this.   

Ugh, Its only 8:45…only eight hours to go.
Why are my teeth and eyeballs numb?
Eyeballs is a funny word
iiiieeeeeeebaaaaallllllllsssssssssssssssssssssss ss  s    s          s 

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

fonzie would be so disappointed…

I’m not the best at keeping my head when I’m angry, add to that only getting three hours of sleep and I’m a monster. We are having trouble sleeping together…and I do mean sleep (you dirty minds). 

  I’m the worst about sleep; I love it, I have to have it, and when I don’t get enough of it I hate life.  It feels like my body is dying, and it is nauseating for me to have to get out of bed when I am overly tired.  I just want to shut down.  Sometimes I even wake up with a fever.  When I was little I used to feel so sick when I got out of bed for school that I would throw up. Mornings are too early for me, especially when it is still dark outside- icky. I’m more of an afternoon waker-upper.  The story:

This morning RD came to bed finally at 2AM- I woke up, but fell back to sleep.  3AM on the button, he starts to snore and toss around. I wake up…I don’t go back to sleep.  Man that boy can snore too.  I have always known this about him though, and I can accept that.  Sometimes I wake him and ask him to turn over, but only when he is breathing erratically.  Last night was a bit different, after a couple hours of him tossing and turning, and jolting, and kicking, and snorting, I began counting.  Some people count sheep, I count the seconds of stillness.  “1 one thousand, 2 one thousand…” like you do when counting between the lightning and the thunder. The most I got up to was “9 one thousand”.  The average was 6.  SIX!!!

  

Only six seconds of stillness at a time.  I couldn’t believe it. Poor guy. Poor me! At least he is able to sleep through it. All I can do is lay there and get madder that I’m awake. It’s not his fault but before it was light out I stormed out of the room and slammed the door.  It was almost involuntary; I just don’t know how to keep my anger inside in the heat of the moment.

  I started crying when he came out and asked if I was ok.  “No, not really” I answered through the bathroom door..then I told him to go back to bed, in a not so nice voice.  I really wish I could filter my temper.  He even offered to walk the dog but I wasn’t having any of it.  I was a total angry girl to him, the kind I don’t like.  “I’m sorry but I think I’m going a little bit insane” I told him through my tears as I walked out the door to walk Cody.  Poor guy.  I was really mean to him.  I lost my cool, Fonzie would be so disappointed.

its way too quiet in here

First let me preface this entry by saying I LOVE MY FAMILY!

…however, after 16 days of house guests you can probably imagine what I am thinking right now. 

When I first put the word out to the family that I would like to host the holidays at my house this year, I guess I really wasn’t thinking about how much effort the whole thing would be.  Man, I’m exhausted.

I don’t know how my mom does it every year.  All the cleaning and preparation itself is enough to wear someone out, not to mention all the groceries you need to feed five extra people and that is before anyone even arrives!

It all started on the 27^th with the arrival of mom and dad who drove in from Texas during a snow storm, they made it safely but Sarah and Nathan had a little adventure trying to get here.  Apparently there was a delay in Atlanta where their connecting flight was and they ended up staying the night there. It’s our family luck with traveling, it rubbed off on Sarah.  They were a day late but finally arrived with Avery in tow on the 29^th.  

It was so great to finally meet my nephew for the very first time! He wasn’t scared of me like I was afraid of; in fact he reached out for me and smiled when we first met! It was heartwarming.  He got so big! He is already walking and has a couple teeth too! I can’t believe it has already been a year since he was born.  It doesn’t seem like that long ago.

We got everyone all settled into their bedrooms and introduced Cody to Avery.  Cody is fascinated with tiny humans and all he wants to do is lick lick lick.  They do taste sweet after all.  Avery wasn’t having any of that so poor Cody was banished to the basement with the boys for the rest of the week.  Poor thing was confused as to why everyone was playing with the baby but not with him. There was lots of crying on both sides.

We all spent New Years Eve together, first time in a few years that I have been able to celebrate with my whole family.  The “kids” went to a bar for a few beverages before midnight when we stumbled home to the grown ups watching Dick Clark just in time to clink our champagne glasses and watch the ball drop. I finally got a new years kiss and it wasn’t from a dog!

It was a nice visit and everyone slowly trickled out by the 4^th….at least we got one night to ourselves before Rugby Dude Senior drove into town.RD’s dad got in late afternoon the day after my family left.  I sort of wish they could have all got to meet each other but I guess that is for some other time.  I was fortunate to have met his mom and dad many many years ago when RD and I first dated in college.  I’m glad I got to meet his mom before she passed away.  It was great to see his dad again after all these years, he still looks the same.  He is a very low maintenance compared to my family! Poor guy didn’t get very much attention since RD and I had to go back to work, but I think he had a good time.

Tonight we will finally have the house back to ourselves. (Insert long drawn out sigh here)  I loved it while everyone was here, but I can’t help but be excited to go back to my “normal” life. 

I can’t wait to:
Sleep in without feeling guilty
Wear my pajamas until 3
Leave the dishes in the sink for tomorrow
Not worry about what to cook for dinner
Have a spot on the couch
Have control of the remote and finally…..

to have sex without worrying if my parents can hear through the walls!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni

let it snow!

What a difference a day makes!

My wish for a white Christmas came true,
we awoke to about six inches of snow outside!
Weird because just yesterday it was sunny and warm.
Cody loves to romp in the deep snow drifts and gets snow all over his face.

…its beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. jenni